Finding the right companion for you might seem like a daunting task at first (especially for newbies!) How do you know if she is real? Will there be a connection? Is she as true as she seems online? As someone who’s been in the industry for over 5 years, I have heard many stories about who ended up being real and amazing and who turned out to not be quite who they seem. Here is what I personally look for in my quest of finding the perfect companion!
Disclaimer: My recommendations are based on my personal experiences of working in the sex work industry over the last 5+ years in the United States and from the many companion colleagues I have had the pleasure of networking with from around the continent (I’m looking at you too Canada!) I am writing from the perspective as if I were a client looking for a companion to hire for myself. I am sure there are legitimate companions who exist who do not adhere to these recommendations. To reiterate, if I were a client these are the standards that I feel comfortable with.
The Initial Search:
My favorite websites to browse (and advertise on!) are Slixa and Tryst. These websites are sex worker friendly and are very reliable. Both websites have visually appealing platforms that allow companions to post photos, biographies, tour schedules, links to social media, and more.
A couple of things to mention about Slixa:
The only thing the “VIP” photo label means is that the companion is paying money to have that feature.
Slixa requires all companions to verify their age by uploading legal identification. Yes, our personal identification is forever listed on file with this company.
“Verified” photos means the companion uploaded a normal, unedited full body photo to verify they do indeed look like their professional photos in real life.
To find a companion who is currently in your city, click on “Jump to City” and choose your city, then when viewing profiles only click on the profiles that list your specific city. Do not ask me why there are listings for other cities in your selected city, that’s just how it is - for now.
Since this seems to not be well known, I want to mention that companions pay a lot of money per month to have these advertisements available for you to browse! It ranges widely per city, but the good advertising options for a listing in Austin, TX is between $40-60/month to $100-200/month per platform (and we are one of the cheapest cities to advertise in!) Providing companionship is a real business - it takes money to make money!
If you want to get knees deep into this world, I suggest making a Twitter account dedicated to following companions who intrigue you and compile their e-mail addresses for your rolodex. Sex workers live in a reality where our advertising platforms, personal websites, and social media accounts can be shut us down any day for doing the “wrong” thing (we do not even always know what for! Was a nipple was exposed? Were we too sexy??) There are many companions for which Twitter is their main advertising venue. It might take more work for clients to browse, but from what I have heard the outcomes are *very* rewarding.
“Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven't planted.” - David Bly
When viewing a profile, always be sure to look for a website and at least one social media link. When reviewing a website, ask yourself:
Does this website look professional, thought out, and well put together? (As opposed to slapped together last minute or a simple template site that could be put together overnight.)
Do they refer to illegal activities or a “menu” of services? Personally, I would never see someone who openly advertises or discusses illegal activities! That is basically rule number one for avoiding arrest! Plausible deniability is our mutual friend.
How well done are the photos? Are they all dimly-lit selfies? (Usually a bad sign.) In general there should be a mix of professional/studio photos and selfie/mirror pictures. That being said, photoshoots are expensive and most companions first starting out might not have the upfront cash for a shoot - but their photos should be of high quality and look like effort was given to look more glamorous than a regular selfie.
Are the photos watermarked? If they are this is a helpful confirmation that they are indeed real photos and not stolen, but having no watermark does not automatically mean they are fake or stolen. Most people think watermarking takes away from the photo’s aesthetic, which is very understandable.
When reviewing social media, ask yourself:
Was this account recently made? Personally, I would not feel comfortable seeing someone who’s account is less than a year old (unless they had other social media feeds that are at least that old.)
Do they interact with other companions and/or feature them on their personal feeds? If so, they should include companions listed in the same city! Many companions network and retweet/tag other companions they know personally or well.
Bonus: Do they feature themselves in short videos? Even better! This can be as simple as having a 10 second video on Instagram or as glamorous as having a 3 minute short production film as a feature on their website. Please realize the latter is an expensive undertaking. I myself have none of these features at the moment, but soon should have something cute on my Instagram and in 2020 a feature film (hopefully!)
A Deeper Dive
One of the biggest ways to ensure you and your chosen companion have a connection upon meeting is to really look into the details of what they write - in their biography, interests, or social media accounts. What is their personality like? Do they mention any hobbies, films, or books that resonate with you? Age is not always the biggest factor in connection. Plenty are like myself, an older soul stuck in a younger person’s body but have many interests outside the norm of a 90's baby millennial. As long as they seem like a wonderful fellow human being to share a piece of your life with, what else matters?
A Few Additional Green Flags to Look For:
These do not apply to all legitimate companions but can be helpful if applicable.
She's listed on P411. This is a Canadian-hosted private membership-based screening and advertising website that allows companions to provide "okays" for clients they have seen (it is akin to a referral system.)
During a Google search, the listed e-mail and/or phone number is always linked back to her.
She's listed on more than one advertisement platform and includes these profiles as banners on her website.
She requires a deposit of some sort (cops would never attempt to lure in clients by this method.)
You pre-book your date in advance vs. scheduling for the same day.
She provides a lot of content for you to review (content takes time and effort, y'all! But work pays off when you are able to meet awesome, like-minded clients.)
Red Flags to Look Out For:
Unless you are in a major city (such as NYC or LA), it is best to avoid agencies. Many “agencies” are usually pimp-like organizations and do not uphold professional standards (such as bait-and-switching photos and upcharging clients once the companion arrives.)
Discussion of illegal activities or what you will get for your money. Do not see anyone who explicitly tells you they will do xyz activity with you for X amount of dollars. Paying for companionship is legal; paying for sex is illegal.
No screening of any sort. Every companion has a different level of comfort when it comes to screening requirements (such as the use of references, submission of real identification, or employment verification.) If she tells she can see you “now” and invites you over after a brief text/e-mail exchange, run! Especially if she’s hosting from a hotel. If a police is setting up a sting operation, companions are most likely to be busted going to hotel outcalls; clients are most likely to be busted going to hotel incalls. Cops do not screen because they are looking for the easy catches.
Explicit reviews and “hobby boards” used to be a way to verify companions in the past, but that culture has thankfully mostly gone away due to changes in federal legislation to combat human trafficking. In an ideal world reviews would be a great way to verify if someone is legitimate, but unfortunately there are many specific factors that affect this industry in particular that easily can de-legitimize reviews (I will discuss this in-depth in another blog soon!) That being said, there is a new up and coming website called Private Delights that allows for clients to leave companions non-explicit reviews. This can be an additional factor to look for in verifying legitimacy, but it is in NO way the best or only source that should be used. It is still very unknown (therefore many legitimate ladies are not on it) and many companions are still recovering from the PTSD caused by the previous explicit review culture that they do not want to be involved with any review websites at all (once you read my next blog on reviews you will think, “who can blame them??”)
I hope this blog provides useful perspective and guidance in your search for the perfect companion for you and how to verify her legitimacy. My 3 takeaways are:
See those who clearly put effort into their brand by having quality photos, a well put together website, and are active on social media.
Watch out for the red flags I listed.
The biggest takeaway is: the more research you do, the higher the likelihood you are to find an amazing woman with whom you will have a true connection with and who's presence leaves you a lifetime of memories.